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Cotton Candy
Cotton Candy
Love all of gods creations, for he knows what is best
From birds to bees, and aids to fleas and all that is the rest
Love Lucifer and mourning birds
And suffering and death.
Love human beings and warfare
Slavery and regret.
Love agony and sunsets on a graveyard field
And atoms bomb reigning down, and wounds that will not heal.
Love burning books, and love electric chairs
And cotton candy, and teddy bears
Love a mask that we can see, but everybody wears.
The Answer
The sun glares off the sterile green lawn in the midday heat of the picturesque July afternoon. This is a suffocating heat, which from a distance seems to dance upwards in waves spiraling from seething concrete. This cloudless stifling day is any day, in any American city, at any given moment. From the distance David could hear it. Years of experience has given him the finesse and touch that only a true aficionado could posses. He, before any other of the children, hears the trucks incessant tune from miles. He gives himself the upper hand. On the front porch of David’s house is perched a symbol of beauty and fertility, his mother calmly looks over the quarreling boisterous children. David is safe, watched over and well fed. One could see the fine man he would soon grow up to be. One could smell the corner office, the luxurious cars, the entrepreneurial spirit planted in David’s mind. He would be the pride of his high school, his college, his profession, all of course entwined within broken hearts he would leave behind. But that doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is that the ice cream truck is nearing. Before any of the other children could catch on, David discreetly makes his way down the side walk towards the now slightly-more-perceptible hum of the truck. When the children catch on that the truck is nearing, they start a mad dash down the street, in hopes of avoiding the perpetual state of limbo of being stuck in a line. David of course is at the front of the newly forming line. As the truck comes to a stop, David peers into the side window. He sees the ice cream man; the man whose only fathomable function is to provide ice cream. David was enchanted by the harmony of his relationship with the Ice cream man. It is so simple; when children play in the sun, their tongues get parched. When tongues are parched, the ice cream man comes. The universe is in harmony. David smiled to the bloated dark man behind the counter. The man must be honored to provide so many parched tongues with so much ice cream. The world is a cycle of harmonies, a blooming and perpetual utopia for all happy and well fed children. David released a pensive sigh in wonderment of this newly found discovery.
The sun glares off the simmering dark concrete on the newly laid development. It almost makes Albert miss the speed trap a light ago. This is his 7th hour on the job selling ice cream. Of course, afterwards there was a night shift at a local bar who needed dishwashers. Albert is a working man. He lives in tenement in the old section of town. Several months ago Albert couldn’t pay his rent and spent Valentine’s Day on a patch of 34 degree sidewalk. Albert knows life as it is; cold. Albert and cold are well acquainted. He was conceived at the hands of a cold rapist, grew up in several cold dormitories, attempted sleep in cold jail cells, and sells cold ice cream. The fervently boiling day is straining the refrigerating system, and worries Albert. His name is on the contract, which makes him liable for damage. Liable was a word that haunts Albert. It seemed to always be present when he feels the brunt of life, cold, cold life. It seems like strings of liability tug at Albert, having him work the truck, washing dishes, and skipping his heart medication. Strings of liability force Albert to drink. Not to mention drinking, keeping in mind that Albert is now nearing the children. He glances at the clock ticking. Is it really the 27th? Albert is in 1998? Where is Albert’s time? He looks at himself in the vibrating mirror at the front of the truck. Back stares a fat old man, missing teeth, sagging skin with blood shot eyes. Albert feels himself decaying under his feeble clothing. Cold eyes dart from the mirror to the children on the side of the road. He has tried rage in the past, now he has a prison record. He tried faith, but Jesus never came. He even tried war, but now misses a leg. He sees an enticing, peach skinned woman perched on a broad and luxurious porch connected to a broad and luxurious house, nothing like his own. He thinks of this woman, and attempts to recall love. Failure is no novelty to Albert. He shrugs and croaks to himself.
David eyes every option on the picture menu although he knows exactly what he wants. He points and smiles. He sees the man glance down and gasps at the gruesome sags which adorn his cheeks. Sagging skin is a novelty to David. His mother and father neither have sagging skin like the man in the truck, and they were perhaps half his size. David doesn’t understand why the man seems so uninterested. The man doesn’t understand the glue that he is in keeping the harmonious balance within this sea of pristine green front yards. The man is the provider, and should be grateful for such an esteemed position. As the man passes David the ice cream , David promptly chucks two dollars at the man. As the man counts the money, David briskly turns around and runs towards his own front yard.
Albert stops the truck listening to its screaming brakes for the seemingly millionth time this day. He sees the glowing faces of the children standing to his right. He takes a moment to consider the absolute joy found in these children. He secretly wants to be a father that is, raise his own children. When he was younger, his wife made off with their daughter and he hasn’t heard from them since. He is now too old for any of these matters. His concern now is paying his rent. His urge to love is sucked into a vacuum by his need to work. His daughter haunts his memory. He is alone. His passion as a father is poured into the labor of loading, serving and unloading ice cream day after day, to please children not of his own. All he wants is his own. The world is never in harmony for Albert. Forces conspire against him and he sees no hope. As Albert leans over the freezer to reach for a boy’s ice-cream he contemplates suicide. This has become routine for Albert, but today he is feeling brave. Albert feels an end. Not for the first time of course. He hands the boy his ice cream as a tear dribbles down his aged cheeks. The boy is down the sidewalk in a matter of seconds and runs towards the beautiful woman on the front porch. Albert now waits for the next order in a queue of ice cream orders which hasn’t stopped for almost 14 years. Opportunity is nowhere, doors are closed, time is over, and hope is gone. He reaches for another cold bar of ice-cream.
David nears his home, and awaits kisses from his mother. He rejoices his new ice cream bar and sits in his mothers warm embrace. He smells dinner cooking through his front door which sits ajar on this warm summer day. Nothing changes for David, for all is where it should be. He loves his family, and his family loves him. He still wonders of the Ice cream mans indifference. He sees doors and opportunities where ever he may look. He is in awe of this world, this wonderful world teeming with love, joy and ice cream. Simplicity makes David feel comfortable. Looking forward to life, he slurps down the last bit of his frozen treat.
Albert leaves the sidewalk. The truck slowly cranks off as the engine sputters. His knees now ache from the standing. He still thinks of his daughter. Every time he passes out ice cream she is there. Albert is slowly losing his memory of her features and of her voice. When she is gone, Albert will have nothing more to live for. He knows she will be gone very soon. He sighs in depression, depression over this dysfunctional conglomeration of relationships called life. This series of tragic events, and unfortunate timing called Albert. He sees no doors, no escape, no opportunity, and no hope.
The sun is setting; Albert sees it from his truck now nearing the warehouse. He wonders why it feels like it may be the last he may see. A sigh of relief comes upon Albert. He knows the answer.
The sun is setting. David sees it from his kitchen window. He wonders why it feels like it’s the first he’s ever seen. A path is laid for him, success and opportunity is inevitable. A sigh of relief comes upon David, he knows the answer.
